








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 262 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5572 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3526 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4254 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2959 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,216 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 726 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0ngBarrel | 69% | 75 |
| #2 | HEnry | 57% | 88 |
| #3 | Ei8htyHD | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | Im so hot | 54% | 63 |
| #5 | Brack | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | stormK | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | LaLoner | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | 𝐤𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐢 ^_^ | 48% | 44 |
| #11 | mommy | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | ShadowOwl | 42% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEnry | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | L0ngBarrel | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Im so hot | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | 𝐤𝐨𝐡𝐢𝐢 ^_^ | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ShadowOwl | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEnry | 400 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | L0ngBarrel | 223 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | R1sky | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Im so hot | 141 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | stormK | 138 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L0ngBarrel | +7.78 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | Im so hot | +3.38 | 86 | 56 |
| #3 | Ei8htyHD | +2.70 | 82 | 65 |
| #4 | HEnry | +2.15 | 73 | 70 |
| #5 | Brack | +1.56 | 62 | 51 |





