








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,955 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 140 | 7% |
| Smokes | 489 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 470 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $317,411 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eman | 82% | 17 |
| #2 | adictedbucci | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 53% | 257 |
| #4 | refractable | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | ozzy | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 53% | 257 |
| #4 | refractable | 52% | 170 |
| #5 | ozzy | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | Azure | 46% | 125 |
| #7 | ShoesArePerfect | 44% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHTONIO | 21 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | ShoesArePerfect | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | refractable | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Azure | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | adictedbucci | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShoesArePerfect | 174 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | refractable | 166 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 149 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #4 | adictedbucci | 108 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #5 | Azure | 57 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHTONIO | +6.46 | 85 | 39 |
| #2 | eman | +6.32 | 59 | 53 |
| #3 | ozzy | +2.66 | 49 | 72 |
| #4 | ShoesArePerfect | +0.34 | 48 | 59 |
| #5 | adictedbucci | -0.26 | 54 | 56 |





