








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 580 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1069 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1513 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1191 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,196,040 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The joner | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | adictedbucci | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | ShoesArePerfect | 53% | 214 |
| #4 | refractable | 53% | 360 |
| #5 | AaronAbstract | 53% | 257 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ShoesArePerfect | 53% | 214 |
| #4 | refractable | 53% | 360 |
| #5 | AaronAbstract | 53% | 257 |
| #6 | ozzy | 50% | 88 |
| #7 | Azure | 44% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozzy | 19 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | ShoesArePerfect | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | adictedbucci | 13 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | refractable | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | AaronAbstract | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShoesArePerfect | 768 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #2 | adictedbucci | 588 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | ozzy | 326 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | refractable | 278 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | The joner | 121 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHTONIO | +4.75 | 83 | 40 |
| #2 | ozzy | +2.08 | 62 | 67 |
| #3 | adictedbucci | +0.62 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | ShoesArePerfect | -0.16 | 42 | 63 |
| #5 | AaronAbstract | -0.98 | 55 | 24 |





