










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,048 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2759 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2628 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1565 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2096 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $855,568 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The joner | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | adictedbucci | 59% | 119 |
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 53% | 214 |
| #4 | refractable | 53% | 198 |
| #5 | ozzy | 53% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 53% | 214 |
| #4 | refractable | 53% | 198 |
| #5 | ozzy | 53% | 76 |
| #6 | AaronAbstract | 44% | 61 |
| #7 | Azure | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adictedbucci | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | ASHTONIO | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | ozzy | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | refractable | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | The joner | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | adictedbucci | 616 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #2 | ozzy | 293 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | ASHTONIO | 199 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #4 | refractable | 166 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | The joner | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASHTONIO | +3.28 | 82 | 44 |
| #2 | ozzy | +1.56 | 57 | 64 |
| #3 | adictedbucci | +0.84 | 58 | 59 |
| #4 | ShoesArePerfect | +0.04 | 42 | 64 |
| #5 | refractable | -1.27 | 41 | 41 |





