








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 89 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 969 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1153 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1996 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1428 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $399,652 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dak0 | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | SuPeRMaN | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Rizzen | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | JoeRandy.com | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 39% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SuPeRMaN | 51% | 35 |
| #3 | Rizzen | 49% | 47 |
| #4 | JoeRandy.com | 48% | 66 |
| #5 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 39% | 59 |
| #6 | DillyLingus | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | JoeRandy.com | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Rizzen | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | DillyLingus | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | dak0 | 2 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuPeRMaN | 186 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #2 | JoeRandy.com | 121 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | DillyLingus | 115 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rizzen | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DillyLingus | +2.12 | 70 | 72 |
| #2 | SuPeRMaN | +1.68 | 33 | 70 |
| #3 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | +1.68 | 60 | 50 |
| #4 | dak0 | +1.15 | 65 | 38 |
| #5 | JoeRandy.com | +0.48 | 52 | 57 |





