








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 612 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5778 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3009 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 7041 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6158 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,009,320 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 625 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DillyLingus | 51% | 84 |
| #2 | SuPeRMaN | 51% | 287 |
| #3 | scrads | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | damnBroccoli ツ | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Cheese | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DillyLingus | 51% | 84 |
| #2 | SuPeRMaN | 51% | 287 |
| #3 | scrads | 48% | 66 |
| #4 | damnBroccoli ツ | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Cheese | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuPeRMaN | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | DillyLingus | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Cheese | 5 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | damnBroccoli ツ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | scrads | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SuPeRMaN | 1616 | 0.26 | 46 min |
| #2 | DillyLingus | 371 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | damnBroccoli ツ | 275 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #4 | scrads | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cheese | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DillyLingus | +2.10 | 66 | 76 |
| #2 | JoeRandy.com | +0.76 | 58 | 62 |
| #3 | SuPeRMaN | -0.31 | 36 | 72 |
| #4 | damnBroccoli ツ | -0.39 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | scrads | -2.10 | 39 | 65 |





