








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
371 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 321 | 29% |
| Smokes | 271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 310 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 199 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $214,935 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoeRandy.com | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | scrads | 49% | 47 |
| #3 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 45% | 47 |
| #4 | SuPeRMaN | 44% | 9 |
| #5 | DillyLingus | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | scrads | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | JoeRandy.com | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | DillyLingus | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrads | 80 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | 75 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | DillyLingus | 59 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | JoeRandy.com | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | SuPeRMaN | 46 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DillyLingus | +2.27 | 68 | 76 |
| #2 | n0vee @ x.com/n0veeCS | +2.14 | 61 | 45 |
| #3 | SuPeRMaN | +0.42 | 27 | 73 |
| #4 | JoeRandy.com | -0.37 | 48 | 54 |
| #5 | Rizzen | -1.19 | 54 | 44 |





