








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 698 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3622 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5352 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,938,708 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 921 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 54% | 235 |
| #2 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 110 |
| #3 | ledragoon | 44% | 93 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 44% | 250 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 54% | 235 |
| #2 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 110 |
| #3 | ledragoon | 44% | 93 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 44% | 250 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 18 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | ledragoon | 16 | 0.0086 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 9 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 705 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | ledragoon | 271 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 132 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 94 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | 91 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.74 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | ledragoon | +2.98 | 78 | 54 |
| #3 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +0.12 | 37 | 55 |
| #4 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +0.08 | 37 | 65 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | -2.67 | 25 | 64 |





