








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,457 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1471 | 43% |
| Smokes | 510 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 974 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 502 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,873 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 49% | 95 |
| #2 | Erich Honecker | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 44% | 93 |
| #4 | BigBrainNoAim | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 49% | 95 |
| #2 | Erich Honecker | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 44% | 93 |
| #4 | BigBrainNoAim | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 23 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Erich Honecker | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 177 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Erich Honecker | 44 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #4 | BigBrainNoAim | 27 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ledragoon | +3.29 | 75 | 52 |
| #2 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | -0.16 | 39 | 66 |
| #3 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | -0.18 | 37 | 48 |
| #4 | BigBrainNoAim | -2.47 | 25 | 63 |
| #5 | Erich Honecker | -4.70 | 7 | 46 |





