








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 808 | 25% |
| Smokes | 898 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 812 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 687 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $775,707 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | ledragoon | 49% | 95 |
| #3 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | ledragoon | 49% | 95 |
| #3 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 48% | 110 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | 41% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ledragoon | 20 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Erich Honecker | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 268 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 258 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | ledragoon | 257 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | BigBrainNoAim | 62 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Erich Honecker | 12 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ѕυссе$$$ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +3.93 | 69 | 53 |
| #2 | ledragoon | +2.87 | 74 | 51 |
| #3 | HighFish¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | +0.12 | 35 | 49 |
| #4 | SpiceThingsUp¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | -0.42 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | BigBrainNoAim | -2.47 | 27 | 61 |





