








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1333 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2876 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1583 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2206 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $911,720 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathB1ade | 77% | 94 |
| #2 | PapaP | 72% | 57 |
| #3 | -Mat_ | 67% | 85 |
| #4 | c6x | 65% | 84 |
| #5 | catfood | 57% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | l1psl4p | 53% | 131 |
| #7 | Samsung | 53% | 133 |
| #8 | #1 Bottom Fragger UK | 48% | 75 |
| #9 | Lucid | 47% | 58 |
| #10 | RyanMcC | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathB1ade | 33 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | l1psl4p | 32 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | PapaP | 31 | 0.0288 |
| #4 | catfood | 23 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | RyanMcC | 13 | 0.0254 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Mat_ | 385 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | l1psl4p | 357 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | DeathB1ade | 281 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Samsung | 251 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | catfood | 232 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaP | +3.00 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | DeathB1ade | +2.82 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | -Mat_ | +2.79 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | c6x | +1.25 | 50 | 57 |
| #5 | Lucid | +0.84 | 80 | 65 |





