








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2479 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1747 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1952 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1057 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,856 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 175 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♠ Dr. SpadeS | 92% | 12 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 90% | 41 |
| #3 | c6x | 81% | 47 |
| #4 | Zenith | 80% | 20 |
| #5 | PapaP | 79% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Skull | 65% | 37 |
| #11 | Chuggles | 63% | 16 |
| #12 | Lucid | 62% | 13 |
| #13 | RheisF シ | 59% | 27 |
| #14 | Wikboy | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaP | 33 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | thok | 31 | 0.0168 |
| #3 | l1psl4p | 25 | 0.0214 |
| #4 | catfood | 19 | 0.0232 |
| #5 | -Mat_ | 10 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PapaP | 227 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 174 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #3 | l1psl4p | 168 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | thok | 136 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | c6x | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Mat_ | +3.97 | 72 | 69 |
| #2 | PapaP | +2.93 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | DeathB1ade | +2.92 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | ♠ Dr. SpadeS | +2.04 | 85 | 82 |
| #5 | c6x | +1.96 | 50 | 49 |





