








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2539 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,983 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2638 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2323 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1702 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $545,997 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 538 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathB1ade | 74% | 58 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | PapaP | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | Leadpex | 58% | 26 |
| #5 | #1 Bottom Fragger UK | 56% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | thok | 53% | 131 |
| #8 | catfood | 48% | 77 |
| #9 | Lucid | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | Samsung | 46% | 83 |
| #11 | RyanMcC | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thok | 30 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | DeathB1ade | 21 | 0.0178 |
| #3 | catfood | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | RyanMcC | 16 | 0.0348 |
| #5 | PapaP | 15 | 0.0241 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thok | 209 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | DeathB1ade | 189 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | catfood | 175 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Samsung | 175 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | PapaP | 140 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeathB1ade | +4.18 | 85 | 56 |
| #2 | PapaP | +3.58 | 94 | 61 |
| #3 | -Mat_ | +2.64 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | Lucid | +1.52 | 86 | 71 |
| #5 | c6x | +1.00 | 50 | 55 |





