








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 858 matches | ||
| Esplay | 50 matches | 1,862 | |
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 208 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9557 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8392 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9916 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 8296 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 11625 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,541,964 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 805 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ideal spender | 49% | 454 |
| #8 | Migu | 48% | 182 |
| #9 | Klipponaattori225 | 46% | 195 |
| #10 | Vader | 45% | 75 |
| #11 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 44% | 379 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOnKeY | 30 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 23 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | jessE | 11 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Migu | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | ideal spender | 8 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessE | 1608 | 0.15 | 46 min |
| #2 | Tobi-Wan Kenobi | 1220 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #3 | mOnKeY | 1005 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #4 | ✪OGVilzu | 650 | 0.23 | 20 min |
| #5 | Migu | 483 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pilu | +3.21 | 77 | 60 |
| #2 | mOnKeY | +3.19 | 87 | 62 |
| #3 | ✪OGVilzu | +2.42 | 85 | 84 |
| #4 | ideal spender | +1.48 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | Migu | +1.41 | 86 | 72 |





