








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 311 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6500 | 40% |
| Smokes | 3593 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4744 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1612 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $640,435 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 500 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 49% | 273 |
| #5 | wheels | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | Sven | 44% | 87 |
| #7 | Steroids | 43% | 30 |
| #8 | Aizen | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 37 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Aizen | 23 | 0.0227 |
| #3 | .ru | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Andr^ | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | wheels | 7 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andr^ | 795 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | .ru | 608 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | Aizen | 364 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #4 | Saadjärve Lihunik | 192 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #5 | Sven | 107 | 0.07 | 3 min |





