








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 529 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 673 | 19% |
| Smokes | 884 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,907 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 320 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KMI1207 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Bundaguard | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | shnizzy | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Slim | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | 17clavery | 54% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shnizzy | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Slim | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | 17clavery | 54% | 70 |
| #6 | whiteminecraftplayer | 50% | 138 |
| #7 | Maybe | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whiteminecraftplayer | 23 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | Maybe | 13 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Bundaguard | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | 17clavery | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Slim | 4 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whiteminecraftplayer | 486 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #2 | Bundaguard | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Maybe | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Slim | 35 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | shnizzy | 33 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bundaguard | +1.92 | 37 | 50 |
| #2 | whiteminecraftplayer | +1.14 | 64 | 43 |
| #3 | BIG JOHN | +1.11 | 48 | 36 |
| #4 | Slim | +0.27 | 24 | 13 |
| #5 | Maybe | +0.14 | 50 | 35 |





