








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 320 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,185 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5457 | 54% |
| Smokes | 1924 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2292 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 512 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,786,984 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 382 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bundaguard | 57% | 155 |
| #2 | KMI1207 | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | 9hatJoint | 56% | 45 |
| #4 | BIG JOHN | 50% | 138 |
| #5 | 17clavery | 47% | 211 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bundaguard | 38 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | BIG JOHN | 26 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | 17clavery | 16 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Slim | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | 9hatJoint | 5 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bundaguard | 412 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | BIG JOHN | 240 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | 9hatJoint | 76 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Slim | 68 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | 17clavery | 64 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 9hatJoint | +3.88 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Bundaguard | +1.54 | 47 | 51 |
| #3 | BIG JOHN | +0.83 | 46 | 37 |
| #4 | whiteminecraftplayer | +0.74 | 61 | 46 |
| #5 | Slim | -0.63 | 20 | 15 |





