








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 404 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1065 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 178 | 25% |
| Smokes | 131 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 144 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 255 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $428,007 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG JOHN | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | Slim | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | whiteminecraftplayer | 47% | 211 |
| #4 | Bundaguard | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG JOHN | 54% | 70 |
| #2 | Slim | 53% | 34 |
| #3 | whiteminecraftplayer | 47% | 211 |
| #4 | Bundaguard | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whiteminecraftplayer | 31 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | BIG JOHN | 17 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | Slim | 7 | 0.0105 |
| #4 | Bundaguard | 5 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whiteminecraftplayer | 951 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | BIG JOHN | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Bundaguard | 91 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Slim | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIG JOHN | +2.05 | 48 | 33 |
| #2 | whiteminecraftplayer | +1.70 | 58 | 48 |
| #3 | Bundaguard | +1.16 | 41 | 54 |
| #4 | Slim | +0.01 | 19 | 16 |
| #5 | 17clavery | -4.17 | 26 | 15 |





