








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 878 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1186 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1043 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 950 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,142,483 of utility $347 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vic Vinegar | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Grim | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Prank3d | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Forxe | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Grim | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Prank3d | 42% | 33 |
| #5 | Forxe | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | rice farmer | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vic Vinegar | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 5 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Grim | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Prank3d | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim | 326 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Vic Vinegar | 192 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | Prank3d | 154 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Forxe | 101 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 61 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | +3.44 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Forxe | +2.93 | 66 | 63 |
| #3 | Vic Vinegar | +1.01 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | Jexi | -0.59 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Grim | -0.88 | 24 | 67 |





