










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,769 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1026 | 37% |
| Smokes | 534 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 765 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 444 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $505,823 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jexi | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Grim | 39% | 36 |
| #3 | AMS KingKappa | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Prank3d | 35% | 26 |
| #5 | Forxe | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jexi | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Grim | 39% | 36 |
| #3 | AMS KingKappa | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | Prank3d | 35% | 26 |
| #5 | Forxe | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jexi | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Grim | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Prank3d | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | AMS KingKappa | 3 | 0.0162 |
| #5 | Forxe | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim | 186 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #2 | Prank3d | 127 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | Jexi | 114 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Forxe | 93 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #5 | AMS KingKappa | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | +3.21 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Vic Vinegar | +0.40 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | Jexi | +0.09 | 61 | 49 |
| #4 | AMS KingKappa | -0.25 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Forxe | -0.97 | 58 | 60 |





