








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 160 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,171 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2029 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2755 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1045 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $852,340 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Prank3d | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 53% | 191 |
| #4 | Forxe | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | Auriel | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grim | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Prank3d | 55% | 55 |
| #3 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 53% | 191 |
| #4 | Forxe | 50% | 80 |
| #5 | Auriel | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Prank3d | 16 | 0.0147 |
| #3 | Forxe | 9 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Auriel | 6 | 0.0165 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 470 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #2 | Forxe | 319 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Prank3d | 206 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | Grim | 183 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | Auriel | 77 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | +6.13 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | Forxe | +4.09 | 75 | 66 |
| #3 | Auriel | +0.62 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | rice farmer | -0.30 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | Amateur Sink Pisser | -0.47 | 58 | 49 |





