








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 462 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2860 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,339 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2788 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1937 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,999 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 54% | 78 |
| #2 | Prank3d | 52% | 144 |
| #3 | Grim | 52% | 135 |
| #4 | Epona | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | rice farmer | 50% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sere1n | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Auriel | 47% | 34 |
| #8 | dish-washer | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Jexi | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | Vic Vinegar | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 21 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | rice farmer | 13 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Auriel | 13 | 0.0191 |
| #4 | Grim | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 8 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 620 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | Grim | 583 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 246 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Auriel | 155 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | rice farmer | 150 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Forxe | +2.74 | 72 | 65 |
| #2 | Prank3d | +2.47 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Epona | +1.76 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Vic Vinegar | -0.48 | 78 | 56 |
| #5 | Auriel | -0.98 | 52 | 54 |





