








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 112 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,854 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7831 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5860 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6069 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5094 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,032,532 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 253 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rice farmer | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 56% | 84 |
| #3 | Epona | 53% | 66 |
| #4 | Forxe | 52% | 135 |
| #5 | Jexi | 49% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jexi | 49% | 71 |
| #6 | Prank3d | 46% | 267 |
| #7 | Vic Vinegar | 39% | 36 |
| #8 | dish-washer | 38% | 77 |
| #9 | Auriel | 33% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 29 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Forxe | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Auriel | 12 | 0.0143 |
| #4 | Epona | 11 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 8 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prank3d | 1048 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | Forxe | 538 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #3 | Amateur Sink Pisser | 241 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Epona | 157 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Auriel | 156 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epona | +3.58 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Prank3d | +3.23 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | Forxe | +2.62 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | Jexi | +0.24 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | Vic Vinegar | -0.01 | 78 | 57 |





