








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 267 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1037 | 36% |
| Smokes | 710 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 539 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $340,746 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | гυтҡυιа | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | SalmonellaSami | 80% | 5 |
| #3 | walle | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Bot Vaittify | 73% | 11 |
| #5 | PetEZ | 70% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Hovikuski | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | kikkeli | 33% | 6 |
| #15 | kosunenb | 30% | 10 |
| #16 | rafal | 25% | 4 |
| #17 | kace | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KovaArska | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | kosunenb | 1 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Hovikuski | 1 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Unikulma.fi 1LciMys | 1 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | SalmonellaSami | 1 | 0.0089 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dullerturtle | 76 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | KovaArska | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bot Vaittify | 58 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | Röökiboss | 35 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #5 | joe | 29 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joe | +4.88 | 90 | 74 |
| #2 | Unikulma.fi 1LciMys | +4.66 | 46 | 53 |
| #3 | Bot Vaittify | +3.91 | 63 | 76 |
| #4 | гυтҡυιа | +0.90 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | valtzu | +0.59 | 41 | 56 |





