








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3186 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3004 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1757 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1862 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,313,207 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 472 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary the Snail | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 61% | 57 |
| #3 | Nico | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | PC⅁ | 55% | 203 |
| #5 | Kakashi | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 61% | 57 |
| #3 | Nico | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | PC⅁ | 55% | 203 |
| #5 | Kakashi | 55% | 66 |
| #6 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 10 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | PC⅁ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Nico | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Kakashi | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PC⅁ | 664 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Kakashi | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Gary the Snail | 97 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PussySl4y3r2010 | +2.88 | 83 | 47 |
| #2 | Nico | +2.42 | 88 | 69 |
| #3 | PC⅁ | +1.39 | 75 | 56 |
| #4 | JanRambo™ | +1.07 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Gary the Snail | +0.54 | 64 | 64 |





