








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 226 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 166 matches | ||
| Wingman | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4049 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1505 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 5781 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 6662 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,675,281 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JanRambo™ | 55% | 77 |
| #2 | Gary the Snail | 53% | 630 |
| #3 | Kakashi | 52% | 868 |
| #4 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 51% | 276 |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 49% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Gary the Snail | 53% | 630 |
| #3 | Kakashi | 52% | 868 |
| #4 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 51% | 276 |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 49% | 216 |
| #6 | LittleSnaegg | 42% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 40 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Kakashi | 36 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Gary the Snail | 18 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | JanRambo™ | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | LittleSnaegg | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kakashi | 1558 | 0.09 | 35 min |
| #2 | Gary the Snail | 1211 | 0.09 | 30 min |
| #3 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 527 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | JanRambo™ | 212 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 98 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PussySl4y3r2010 | +3.09 | 85 | 44 |
| #2 | JanRambo™ | +1.82 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Gary the Snail | +0.68 | 61 | 65 |
| #4 | Kakashi | +0.33 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | -2.75 | 30 | 55 |





