








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 709 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 290 matches | ||
| Premier | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6996 | 20% |
| Smokes | 8402 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 10335 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 9405 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,804,097 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JanRambo™ | 55% | 66 |
| #2 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 53% | 254 |
| #3 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 52% | 868 |
| #4 | Gary the Snail | 52% | 640 |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 48% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 53% | 254 |
| #3 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 52% | 868 |
| #4 | Gary the Snail | 52% | 640 |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 48% | 186 |
| #6 | LittleSnaegg | 44% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 53 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 30 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Gary the Snail | 18 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | LittleSnaegg | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | ᴜɴɴᴀᴍᴇᴅʙᴏɪ | ♛ | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gary the Snail | 1231 | 0.09 | 31 min |
| #2 | PussySl4y3r2010 | 819 | 0.05 | 18 min |
| #3 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | 484 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | JanRambo™ | 170 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | LittleSnaegg | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PussySl4y3r2010 | +3.04 | 85 | 47 |
| #2 | JanRambo™ | +1.89 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Gary the Snail | +0.78 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | Kakashi | +0.49 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | GibstDuOpiOpiumBringtOpiumOpiUm | -2.74 | 29 | 56 |





