








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 368 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,452 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1273 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1421 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1294 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1464 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $800,764 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | money criminal | 55% | 73 |
| #4 | ×JakeJonnw× | 55% | 201 |
| #5 | Guumis22 | 54% | 13 |
| #6 | jokke | 51% | 113 |
| #7 | Huttuz | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkk4aw | 20 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | ×JakeJonnw× | 17 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | jokke | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Huttuz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Guumis22 | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | 647 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Henkk4aw | 261 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Huttuz | 238 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | jokke | 198 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | money criminal | 130 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | +3.93 | 73 | 75 |
| #2 | Guumis22 | -0.17 | 55 | 51 |
| #3 | zupadaq | -0.24 | 66 | 52 |
| #4 | Henkk4aw | -0.34 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | jokke | -0.98 | 53 | 58 |





