








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 670 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Wingman | 136 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,646 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2756 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1469 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 3994 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,467,323 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 86 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | money criminal | 51% | 84 |
| #2 | zupadaq | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | Henkk4aw | 49% | 151 |
| #4 | ×JakeJonnw× | 47% | 333 |
| #5 | Guumis22 | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | zupadaq | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | Henkk4aw | 49% | 151 |
| #4 | ×JakeJonnw× | 47% | 333 |
| #5 | Guumis22 | 46% | 26 |
| #6 | jokke | 43% | 127 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkk4aw | 43 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | jokke | 22 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Guumis22 | 12 | 0.0204 |
| #4 | ×JakeJonnw× | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | zupadaq | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | 988 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | Henkk4aw | 324 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | jokke | 245 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | money criminal | 153 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | zupadaq | 141 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | +3.80 | 73 | 72 |
| #2 | Guumis22 | +0.77 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Henkk4aw | -0.47 | 58 | 60 |
| #4 | jokke | -0.56 | 50 | 62 |
| #5 | zupadaq | -0.73 | 66 | 52 |





