








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 621 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 82 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2528 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,732 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2419 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1485 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3008 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1820 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,018 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zupadaq | 55% | 73 |
| #2 | ×JakeJonnw× | 55% | 132 |
| #3 | Huttuz | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | eerikin poikkisTTV | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | jokke | 47% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Huttuz | 51% | 84 |
| #4 | eerikin poikkisTTV | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | jokke | 47% | 87 |
| #6 | Henkk4aw | 47% | 87 |
| #7 | Guumis22 | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Henkk4aw | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | jokke | 9 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | ×JakeJonnw× | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Huttuz | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | zupadaq | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | 439 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Huttuz | 236 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Henkk4aw | 165 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | jokke | 160 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | zupadaq | 129 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ×JakeJonnw× | +4.25 | 75 | 77 |
| #2 | Henkk4aw | +0.71 | 61 | 63 |
| #3 | jokke | +0.70 | 53 | 62 |
| #4 | eerikin poikkisTTV | +0.65 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | Guumis22 | +0.37 | 53 | 63 |





