








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4216 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2183 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3046 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2463 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,384 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drew | 87% | 15 |
| #2 | Nate | 72% | 65 |
| #3 | Frost_Champ | 71% | 87 |
| #4 | idk | 69% | 32 |
| #5 | Blastoise | 68% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | randy | 22 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | bray | 12 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | samuel | 9 | 0.0314 |
| #4 | Frost_Champ | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Capital | 7 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bray | 715 | 0.24 | 22 min |
| #2 | randy | 387 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | yATOS | 356 | 0.28 | 11 min |
| #4 | Frost_Champ | 256 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | Nate | 193 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MuscularMussel44 | +4.32 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | Blastoise | +1.51 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | Capital | +1.48 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | yATOS | +1.45 | 81 | 73 |
| #5 | Frost_Champ | +1.20 | 82 | 69 |





