








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 586 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,634 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1829 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2511 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2521 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,376,369 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Wheatground | 55% | 49 |
| #13 | koukis | 55% | 77 |
| #14 | Drip Pancakes | 54% | 101 |
| #15 | Tomppa | 50% | 24 |
| #16 | k1tten | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drip Pancakes | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | koukis | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | MiNtBlAsUb | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Wheatground | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koukis | 391 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 382 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | MiNtBlAsUb | 295 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #4 | Drip Pancakes | 236 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Nekopeek |トルネード | 193 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vile | +3.74 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | MiNtBlAsUb | +2.52 | 89 | 75 |
| #3 | k1tten | +2.38 | 90 | 81 |
| #4 | karalianasiakas | +1.56 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | S4MI | +1.50 | 61 | 81 |





