








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4480 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3662 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3602 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3010 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,606 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1064 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vile | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | tuulos | 74% | 23 |
| #3 | tuve | 65% | 17 |
| #4 | Tuuli :3 | 64% | 45 |
| #5 | MiNtBlAsUb | 63% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Drip Pancakes | 51% | 55 |
| #14 | k1tten | 47% | 17 |
| #15 | スブラ | 43% | 23 |
| #16 | S4MI | 43% | 23 |
| #17 | kakku<3 | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | スブラ | 3 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | SINI♡ | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Wheatground | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | velluGsi | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | MiNtBlAsUb | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SINI♡ | 500 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #2 | koukis | 218 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | daNbee | 194 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | MiNtBlAsUb | 156 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| #5 | Vile | 153 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MiNtBlAsUb | +3.44 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | Vile | +2.40 | 81 | 65 |
| #3 | tuulos | +1.53 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | SINI♡ | +1.51 | 83 | 74 |
| #5 | スブラ | +1.42 | 83 | 41 |





