








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1711 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2498 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1172 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,205,270 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resting Manatee | 47% | 246 |
| #2 | Billy Busted | 43% | 281 |
| #3 | beko | 43% | 103 |
| #4 | Booj | 40% | 119 |
| #5 | mariopees | 38% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | beko | 43% | 103 |
| #4 | Booj | 40% | 119 |
| #5 | mariopees | 38% | 265 |
| #6 | Mr. Frizør | 33% | 187 |
| #7 | Excel | 28% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mariopees | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Resting Manatee | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mr. Frizør | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Booj | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | beko | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | 941 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | beko | 505 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | mariopees | 479 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Resting Manatee | 422 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #5 | Booj | 148 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | +2.23 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | beko | +1.58 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Jester | +0.97 | 57 | 44 |
| #4 | Resting Manatee | +0.31 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | Booj | -1.01 | 35 | 57 |





