








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,110 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2977 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2862 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2400 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1871 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $913,389 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 664 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | 49% | 272 |
| #2 | Jester | 47% | 246 |
| #3 | beko | 47% | 87 |
| #4 | Booj | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | mariopees | 45% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Jester | 47% | 246 |
| #3 | beko | 47% | 87 |
| #4 | Booj | 47% | 94 |
| #5 | mariopees | 45% | 247 |
| #6 | Mr. Frizør | 43% | 171 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mariopees | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jester | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Mr. Frizør | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Booj | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Billy Busted | 3 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | 845 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | mariopees | 445 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #3 | beko | 432 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jester | 211 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Booj | 120 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | +2.71 | 68 | 71 |
| #2 | beko | +1.78 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Jester | +0.92 | 57 | 44 |
| #4 | Resting Manatee | +0.58 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | Booj | -0.50 | 42 | 55 |





