








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2494 | 43% |
| Smokes | 599 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 1286 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,517 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resting Manatee | 45% | 247 |
| #2 | Booj | 42% | 93 |
| #3 | Billy Busted | 39% | 295 |
| #4 | beko | 39% | 88 |
| #5 | Jester | 38% | 265 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Booj | 42% | 93 |
| #3 | Billy Busted | 39% | 295 |
| #4 | beko | 39% | 88 |
| #5 | Jester | 38% | 265 |
| #6 | Mr. Frizør | 33% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Resting Manatee | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Jester | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Billy Busted | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Mr. Frizør | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | beko | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | 945 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #2 | beko | 453 | 0.26 | 9 min |
| #3 | Resting Manatee | 436 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Jester | 219 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Booj | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | +2.83 | 70 | 70 |
| #2 | beko | +1.87 | 81 | 64 |
| #3 | Jester | +1.09 | 56 | 42 |
| #4 | Resting Manatee | +1.07 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | Booj | -0.24 | 41 | 56 |





