








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3450 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,593 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5451 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2777 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2339 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3026 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,449 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latty | 59% | 32 |
| #2 | Resting Manatee | 47% | 87 |
| #3 | Billy Busted | 45% | 146 |
| #4 | Jester | 43% | 103 |
| #5 | Booj | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Billy Busted | 45% | 146 |
| #4 | Jester | 43% | 103 |
| #5 | Booj | 40% | 25 |
| #6 | mariopees | 39% | 88 |
| #7 | Mr. Frizør | 25% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jester | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Resting Manatee | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Billy Busted | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | mariopees | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mr. Frizør | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Billy Busted | 427 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | mariopees | 177 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Resting Manatee | 144 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jester | 111 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | Latty | 67 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latty | +3.15 | 86 | 51 |
| #2 | Billy Busted | +2.07 | 67 | 67 |
| #3 | beko | +1.20 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | Jester | +0.24 | 52 | 39 |
| #5 | Resting Manatee | -0.52 | 74 | 63 |





