










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1955 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1998 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1068 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1849 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $497,539 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | old man Jenkins | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | ☁ PotaTom | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | chester | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | mutant | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Jet | 54% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | VagueDark | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | brokeyy | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | Ryzn | 44% | 16 |
| #10 | macks | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | Peakaso | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 12 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | ☁ PotaTom | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | old man Jenkins | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | VagueDark | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | chester | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | 135 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | brokeyy | 129 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ryzn | 77 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | VagueDark | 74 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | macks | 69 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jet | +3.03 | 82 | 57 |
| #2 | brokeyy | +1.80 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | VagueDark | +0.79 | 54 | 47 |
| #4 | TreeeZzz | +0.42 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | old man Jenkins | -0.36 | 81 | 27 |





