








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4692 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,540 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3545 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3104 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3468 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3423 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,232,993 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | 55% | 159 |
| #2 | ThatCowHugger | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | Pinky | 52% | 206 |
| #4 | Teej | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Holy | 45% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ThatCowHugger | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | Pinky | 52% | 206 |
| #4 | Teej | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | Holy | 45% | 58 |
| #6 | TreeeZzz | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pinky | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Teej | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ThatCowHugger | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | TreeeZzz | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pinky | 789 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | brokeyy | 763 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #3 | Teej | 253 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ThatCowHugger | 192 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Holy | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Teej | +1.86 | 57 | 64 |
| #2 | brokeyy | +1.80 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | Pinky | +0.24 | 57 | 63 |
| #4 | macks | +0.21 | 65 | 54 |
| #5 | TreeeZzz | -1.55 | 68 | 55 |





