








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2626 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,953 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3744 | 42% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2202 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1439 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $670,719 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 954 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PpXtheCUM | 49% | 100 |
| #2 | Slouv | 48% | 153 |
| #3 | BabyBez21 | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | jango bett [7] | 45% | 31 |
| #5 | fanta lite brev | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PpXtheCUM | 19 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Slouv | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | BANH MI | 7 | 0.0087 |
| #4 | jango bett [7] | 6 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | BabyBez21 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PpXtheCUM | 277 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Slouv | 208 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | BANH MI | 119 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | jango bett [7] | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | BabyBez21 | 52 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANH MI | +3.48 | 68 | 41 |
| #2 | Slouv | +2.20 | 76 | 51 |
| #3 | fanta lite brev | +1.99 | 75 | 58 |
| #4 | jango bett [7] | +1.15 | 56 | 69 |
| #5 | PpXtheCUM | +0.25 | 51 | 62 |





