








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2230 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1702 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 545 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 1011 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,047 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 584 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jango bett [7] | 53% | 38 |
| #5 | Slouv | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | The Dragon Warrior | 49% | 100 |
| #7 | BabyBez21 | 45% | 69 |
| #8 | Lizard-Brained Mongrel | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dragon Warrior | 35 | 0.0192 |
| #2 | Roddy Homewrecker | 11 | 0.0323 |
| #3 | Doin' Lad | 8 | 0.0402 |
| #4 | BabyBez21 | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | jango bett [7] | 6 | 0.0081 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | +13.21 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | Doin' Lad | +7.74 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | jango bett [7] | +1.96 | 58 | 66 |
| #4 | The Dragon Warrior | +0.63 | 36 | 55 |
| #5 | Slouv | +0.57 | 90 | 44 |





