








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 322 matches | ||
| Wingman | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 75 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5430 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5238 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6648 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4947 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,303,013 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1292 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel | 64% | 56 |
| #2 | Anfronee Edmonds | 57% | 76 |
| #3 | Haychie | 51% | 142 |
| #4 | BANH MI | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Elon Ma | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANH MI | 22 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | otter | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | The Dragon Warrior | 13 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Haychie | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | bagel | 6 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otter | 612 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | BANH MI | 411 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Haychie | 309 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | The Dragon Warrior | 241 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Station | 216 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BANH MI | +3.10 | 64 | 49 |
| #2 | bagel | +2.62 | 63 | 51 |
| #3 | otter | +1.32 | 77 | 64 |
| #4 | fanta lite brev | +1.23 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | Slouv | +0.74 | 70 | 58 |





