








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 274 | 17% |
| Smokes | 564 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 434 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,906 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 613 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Lizard-Brained Mongrel | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Slouv | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Full Metal Goonercist | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | The Dragon Warrior | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Dragon Warrior | 19 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | PpXtheCUM | 18 | 0.0135 |
| #3 | Roddy Homewrecker | 6 | 0.0294 |
| #4 | Full Metal Goonercist | 3 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | jango bett [7] | 2 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PpXtheCUM | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | The Dragon Warrior | 178 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | jango bett [7] | 42 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Full Metal Goonercist | 35 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Roddy Homewrecker | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roddy Homewrecker | +12.06 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Full Metal Goonercist | +3.44 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | jango bett [7] | +0.93 | 53 | 73 |
| #4 | The Dragon Warrior | +0.77 | 34 | 55 |
| #5 | PpXtheCUM | +0.25 | 54 | 63 |





