








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 72 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,628 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1105 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 875 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,048 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 23 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | slabo | 21 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | naweedy | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | fupas | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | flourish | 7 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 774 | 0.22 | 23 min |
| #2 | echo | 493 | 0.33 | 12 min |
| #3 | Dope Rider | 363 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | naweedy | 349 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | fupas | 219 | 0.13 | 6 min |





