








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 658 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,915 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2229 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3549 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3068 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4069 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,065,859 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 34 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | echo | 24 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | flourish | 19 | 0.0111 |
| #4 | naweedy | 14 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Antifa Super Soldier | 11 | 0.0167 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 1177 | 0.23 | 36 min |
| #2 | echo | 852 | 0.35 | 19 min |
| #3 | naweedy | 574 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #4 | Dope Rider | 570 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | flourish | 322 | 0.19 | 8 min |





