








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 214 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 156 matches | ||
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




118 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,747 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11142 | 30% |
| Smokes | 11756 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6735 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 8114 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,195,679 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 690 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | echo | 2077 | 0.33 | 47 min |
| #2 | naweedy | 1548 | 0.17 | 34 min |
| #3 | Dope Rider | 1418 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #4 | davey_d | 888 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #5 | flourish | 602 | 0.17 | 15 min |





