








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1725 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,255 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3335 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2433 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3243 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,178 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 588 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 1103 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #2 | Dope Rider | 820 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | naweedy | 593 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | davey_d | 497 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | neur0 | 171 | 0.11 | 5 min |





