








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,974 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 244 | 8% |
| Smokes | 784 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 943 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1003 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,911 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^clm. Take it easy | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Gaptiste | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | ExorE | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | MAVER1CK-1 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | abchecken -.- | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | abchecken -.- | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | korniii | 54% | 39 |
| #7 | AandiiXX | 53% | 88 |
| #8 | Vollkornsprudel | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | Voggäääääääää | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Vollkornsprudel | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | abchecken -.- | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | korniii | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 474 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | abchecken -.- | 194 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | korniii | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Vollkornsprudel | 50 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Voggäääääääää | 44 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^clm. Take it easy | +3.21 | 56 | 76 |
| #2 | AandiiXX | +2.18 | 72 | 83 |
| #3 | ExorE | +0.61 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | abchecken -.- | +0.35 | 51 | 77 |
| #5 | Vollkornsprudel | +0.15 | 50 | 65 |





