








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 17% |
| Smokes | 781 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1174 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 794 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,461 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaptiste | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | korniii | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | MAVER1CK-1 | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | abchecken -.- | 51% | 74 |
| #5 | AandiiXX | 51% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | AandiiXX | 51% | 88 |
| #6 | ^clm. Take it easy | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Stepi | 49% | 59 |
| #8 | ExorE | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | Voggäääääääää | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | korniii | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 500 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | abchecken -.- | 229 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | korniii | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | MAVER1CK-1 | 46 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | Voggäääääääää | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^clm. Take it easy | +1.53 | 56 | 77 |
| #2 | AandiiXX | +1.47 | 68 | 85 |
| #3 | abchecken -.- | +0.78 | 50 | 79 |
| #4 | Vollkornsprudel | +0.59 | 53 | 66 |
| #5 | Voggäääääääää | +0.53 | 60 | 53 |





