








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,492 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 441 | 18% |
| Smokes | 607 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 809 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 635 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $153,350 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | korniii | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | abchecken -.- | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | AandiiXX | 70% | 30 |
| #4 | Stepi | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | MAVER1CK-1 | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Stepi | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | MAVER1CK-1 | 62% | 13 |
| #6 | Vollkornsprudel | 59% | 17 |
| #7 | Voggäääääääää | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | ExorE | 55% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Voggäääääääää | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | ExorE | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | 176 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | Voggäääääääää | 53 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | ExorE | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | MAVER1CK-1 | 36 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | korniii | 24 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AandiiXX | +2.42 | 67 | 83 |
| #2 | Vollkornsprudel | +1.83 | 60 | 63 |
| #3 | ExorE | +1.22 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Voggäääääääää | +0.54 | 61 | 56 |
| #5 | MAVER1CK-1 | +0.02 | 57 | 75 |





